It’s been a little while since we resurrected our Love Series penned by the uber talented Megan McCarty. But on the heels of Valentine’s Day, it seems like the perfect time to bring Megan’s wonderful insight on all things relationships back into the fray. Because even if we’ve been coupled up for quite awhile (can you believe I blogged about my wedding 6 years ago!), we can always relate to these types of stories.

I’ll leave it to Megan to explain further.

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My ex-boyfriend texted me last week.
Not an “I miss you.” Not a “get your bicycle out of my basement” either.

Instead it was a photo of our basil plant. (Stay with me.) Since we didn’t pop out any little ones or adopt anything furry with four legs, this little sprout was the one thing we took good care of together. When going got rough, and boy did it get tiptoeing-around-each-other-level rough, and we weren’t taking care of ourselves or each other, we still made sure that little guy had a healthy share of sunlight and water.

In the photo, it was propped on his windowsill, overlooking the neighbors that I once called neighbors – including that b-word Betty, who would constantly leave hand-scribbled notes on my car, even though it was a public street and we could all park there, ya hear me Betty? – in the home that I once called home.

Such a silly thing to feel warm-fuzzies over, right? But this little plant with its delicious little leaves (what can I say – we both really love a caprese salad) in one little text whispered so much about how I’ve navigated life post-breakup. In the months and more months since our anguished and necessary split, the basil upgraded from a plastic cup to a ceramic planter and is greener than ever. Though it also looks like it had survived a rough winter, as its leaves have been pared down, and it’s just now stretching to the sky again.

In a way, I relate to the basil. (Again, stay with me.)

There’s a learning curve to accepting singledom after being a part of a duo for so long. Sleeping alone. Ordering that pizza just for yourself. Not having someone ask how your day was. But after I licked my wounds and propped my chin back up and let time do its healing voodoo, everything took on a new perspective. Getting the whole bed to myself. Ordering whichever pizza I wanted, not the one with the all the meats and all the peppers that he knew I hated. Walking in the door whenever, not by 7:00 p.m., which forced me to skip yoga, so we could quick rush to our dinner reservation, in order for us to spend a little bit of quality time together at the end of just another week during which we both worked too much.

And like the basil, I had to shed some layers. Of resentment, of regret, of possessions that no longer served my moving on mentality. Living in my own place again gave me the opportunity to comb through everything I owned and had easily lived without during our relationship. I’m not the type to cry over movie ticket stubs and rip up photos of us or chop off my hair after a breakup, but I will clean the hell out of my house and make a few trips to Goodwill to unload.

So, my dear, sweet basil plant, doesn’t it feels good to stretch your branches again? Oooh, yes it does. Just don’t let Betty bother you.

copy by Megan McCarty // image via here 

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6 Comments

  1. This was so amazing to read as someone who recently went through a break up with someone I truly loved. I struggled with how to cope with this one, it felt so different to other splits but I too have found solace in cleaning out my house and giving away the things that no longer serve me any happiness.

    1. I’m with you, Samantha! I’m sure you’ll find strength in your singledom soon. 🙂

  2. No matter how old you are I feel the same as you do. I am in my early 60’s and left a 9 year relationship last May. At first it was hard to be on my own again but it is also very nice to wake up without all the drama and having a couple of cats at your feet and knowing that I can do what “I” want in each day to make myself happy and fulfilled without the worry of what he feels, wants or cares for. It’s awaking time again to let yourself feel free and live the life you are meant to live.

  3. Haha I love that Betty made it in the post. This is great. I love your insight on the positive side of being alone and doing things just for you and only you! Words to live by!

    http://www.throughmyowneyes.com