When you’re faced with a major decision, how do you tackle it? Do you make lists of the pros and cons? Spend hours hashing and rehashing with your girlfriends? Confide in your significant other? Trust your gut?!

I know for many decision making can cause major anxiety, worry, fear, even a kind of paralysis. As someone who can usually make a call one way or another pretty quickly, suddenly being stricken by indecision is an odd feeling. So I’d love your advice.

When you suddenly find yourself feeling stuck – how do you unstick? –Erin

image via here

What do you think?

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  1. I find that talking to friends doesn’t help. Not that friends aren’t helpful, but my experience is that I am happier with decisions when I’ve made them without too much influence. I want to make sure I own the decision. What’s that thing they say? The more you like your decisions the less you need other people to like them.

    I also like to understand if the decision represents a one-way door or a two-way door. Can you reverse the decision? Undo it? If you can reverse course there is less to worry about if the decision is a big one.

    And then I try to envision making the decision both ways… What if I do it, and what if I don’t. if I end up not loving the decision but will need to live with it either forever (or for a while), how will I commit to it and make the most of it? I want to avoid being (or acting like) a victim of my own circumstances.

    Lastly, instinct is everything. Instinct = the sum of all your experience + what your heart wants. Go with your gut. If something feels “off” pass on it. Another bus will be along soon.

    Good luck.

  2. I’ve always been an agonise-but-then-go-with-your-gut type decision maker, but recently I started mediating, and it has helped me make the toughest decisions I barely even knew I was facing. You simply sit and contemplate the question for ten minutes, and see how it makes you feel. Then sit again and think about what would happen if you did/didn’t do it. Finally imagine you’ve done it. See how your body reacts, fear, excitement, whatever. It can be incredibly illuminating because you’re tapping into your subconscious without letting any of your preconceptions get in the way. I know it sounds terribly hippy, but give it a go, you might be surprised. I certainly was! And good luck!

  3. It’s a journey to becoming unstuck, so firstly be patient with yourself. Talk through your thoughts with trusted friends and family. If none, journal your emotions and where you would like to see your self in another 6 months to a year. Plan a timeline, so you are not just sitting in limbo unendingly. I pray you will find your way.

    Lisa x

  4. I pray. Friends can have the best of intentions but have limited understanding and wisdom. Feelings can’t be relied on because they are tainted with subjectivity. I pray to the Lord to give me the wisdom to make that decision and then wait and listen. He never fails me so I can leave it there with peace. Approach it with some faith. What do you have to lose by trying it? I’ll be praying for you!

  5. I realised recently how lucky I am to have friends who are such great listeners. I love talking over my problems with my friends, because they rarely ever give me “advice” and instead help me put all my fragmented thoughts and feelings into structured opinions. And from there, I can make my own decisions. A good friend helps you organise your mind so you can make the best choice.

  6. I go for a walk, it clears my head and many times the answers come to me.

  7. For me…usually my gut steers me on the correct path. At times..when a very serious decision has to be made, I usually talk to my 3 closest people..husband, son and daughter. They have clear heads when I sometimes am lacking in that area. Most importantly…be as sure as you possibly can, that you have gathered all the facts possible and understand that at the end of the day, you live with your decisions. right or wrong…As always, our best wishes and love to you…

  8. Mind mapping is a great tool – a bit like brainstorming, it just gets all of your thoughts out onto paper so you can look at it. Then you start to connect things – how they relate, how the direction may shift, what you want your end result to be as it relates to where you are now… As a visual person, I really like seeing all of the trigger points stated out in the cold light of day instead of just swimming through my brain. It helps me approach things more calmly and makes me feel like I haven’t left anything out.

    Then, you can walk away from the mind map for a while, or even sleep on it and see how it looks in the morning. For me, I like it out on paper rather than having it “in my head” because that can just make a girl crazy…

    1. I love this idea Annie – I used to do a lot of mind mapping and completely forgot about the technique. Thanks for the reminder – and for stopping by!