Happy Friday friends! Our Real Talk, Real Moms series is back today with a topic I’m really interested to discuss with you. Today we’re dishing about finding your confidence as a mom. Or more aptly titled “continually searching for your confidence” as a mom. I’ve certainly been on a confidence roller coaster ride since having my little guy, so today I thought I’d take you along on a bit of my journey.
Is one ever confident about being a good mom? I think grandmothers are, but that’s after they’ve gotten to see the product of their work over 30 some years. It’s like reading the end of a novel first – you know how everything turns out in the end. But starting out as a new mother, you’re at the very first page of that book. And when you think about it, it’s not really a novel – things are not laid out in a nice neat line. Instead, it’s more like a choose your own adventure story where you really never know what the outcome is going to be.
I was relatively good at rolling with the punches of early motherhood. I didn’t read a lot of parenting books. I didn’t obsess too much about milestones. I was basically satisfied if my guy was happy, healthy and only woke up 1x a night. Small victories right?
The earlier months of motherhood didn’t feel as angst filled as more recent months have. Now that my kid is not only fully aware of his surrounds but understands every single thing we say and much of the innuendo we use to try to keep him from understanding, I’m getting more worried. Just how do you teach a kid to be a good person? How do you not pass down your sh**? How do you teach empathy? What kind of discipline is effective? How do you raise a feminist? How do you raise a sensitive boy and quality man? These questions give me A LOT more anxiety.
Sadly, I don’t have a lot of answers yet. Since my kid just turned two, I’d like to say that, in the grand scheme of parenting, I’m still relatively new at this. The only nugget of advice I can offer at this point is to realize you must parent with intention. It’s so easy to breeze through your days. To not think about what you’re saying. To react to a frustrating toddler rather than listen, relate and engage. In the last six months, my mothering has shifted from loving playmate to highly intentioned teacher, listener and yes, disciplinarian. Now I’ve started reading more books which I do think help. My faves are the Whole Brain Child, Brain Rules and Permission to Parent, and I’m always looking for more recommendations! While I’ve managed to maintain my chill (for the most part), it certainly is daunting to look down at this tiny person and think that the interactions I’m having with him right now could affect him for the rest of his life. No biggie.
Now I’m going to check out the other posts from the rest of the mamas for their advice!
To catch up on the rest of our Real Mom series, CLICK HERE.