The Apartment 34 Manifesto

Business of blogging

Guys, this week. It was a year long and took such a toll. You too? It’s all just too much. And I can’t even come close to comprehending the pain of those who lost everything or lost someone in an instant. The insanity of it all has certainly gotten me thinking about what really matters most and how it relates to this teeny tiny corner of the internet. You see, I’ve been holding down the Apt34 fort for a long time, but even nearly a decade in, I’ve still not 100% comfortable with sharing online. It’s so much easier to talk about the happy shiny things. So you get glimpses. Peeks. An idea. But it’s really only a sliver.

Also, it appears when you talk about pretty things, you’re not supposed to have an opinion. Heaven forbid you offend. Or take a stand. But if I’m going to teach my son that when you see something wrong, you must step in and say something, I have to lead by example, no?

So in the wake of Las Vegas, the humanitarian crisis in Puerto Rico, the NFL brouhaha and the generally terrifying tenor of everything in our nation in 2017, I’ve decided I cannot be silent. And I can’t offer little innuendoes or bury my thoughts on Instagram stories. These days, we’re talking about the literal difference between life and death for so many people.

And while the following is little more than a gesture – no lives will be changed by my words – I do believe words have power. Collective voices have power. Knowing you’re not alone gives others power. And the will of the people has power so I’m throwing my hand up in the air to be counted. I’m doing it here where it will be seen by you. I’m doing it on the phone to be heard by my elected representatives. I’m doing it at the dinner table with my friends and family. I’m doing it with my time, my money, my vote, and any other means I think of. Because I cannot see something so terribly terribly wrong and talk about throw pillows all day.

THE APARTMENT 34 MANIFESTO

I believe women’s rights are human rights
I believe gay rights are human rights
I believe trans rights are human rights
I believe healthcare is a human right
I believe immigrants’ rights are human rights
I believe black lives matter
I believe everyone with a platform should #TakeaKnee
I believe gun control is common sense and better for everyone
I believe difference is what makes America great
I believe I am part of institutionalized oppression just by being white, and unless I’m taking active steps every day to counteract institutionalized racism I am a part of the problem
I believe we have real challenges in this country – massive income gaps, education gaps and opportunity gaps, wage stagnation, drug addiction and addiction to stupidity, narcissism, laziness and reality tv

I believe we do need change but it has to come from us – it’s obvious it will not come from seats of power. At least not from those who currently occupy those seats. It will come from how we treat our neighbors and how we treat strangers. It will come from how we respond to what we fear. It will come from how we stand up to oppose discrimination, oppression, and fear mongering. It will come from what we demand as acceptable discourse and examples of leadership. There are solutions if we use common sense and look for common ground.

I believe I must do everything in my power to protect and advance these rights for every human being.

This means I cannot keep who I am, what I believe or what I’m fighting for off of this platform. Every time you are silent, you are complicit.

So now you know me. Deep down. Not just what color palette I think feels good for fall.

For those who don’t want politics to gussy up their daily Apt34 inspiration, fear not. This site will continue to stick to all things pretty. And should you disagree with my opinions, I by no means think I’m changing your mind. If you feel like you can no longer appreciate my design advice, entertaining inspiration or style tips because you don’t agree with my views, I would be sad to see you go.

But I can look my son in the eyes and tell him – be who you are, be proud and never shy away from expressing what you feel in your heart is right.

With that here are this week’s must click links.

> How to donate to hurricane victims

> How to help earthquake victims in Mexico

> How to donate to shooting victims in Las Vegas

> Why we should fight for gun safety

> How you can fight for gun safety

> If you need to learn even more about guns in America

> How to register to vote

> How to find your members of Congress

> How to make a difference in 2018

> If, like me, you still wish she was president

> If, like me, you still want to believe humanity exists – I give you a grandpa holding babies in the ICU

photo via norm architects

Find the Perfect Piece at these New Blogger Shops

Business of blogging

When I’m shopping for something amazing and unique for our house, it can be hard to find something you haven’t seen a thousand times. Who better to curate amazing pieces than fellow bloggers? That’s why I’m so excited two new amazing shops from two of my favorite blogger babes just launched. You may want to hide your wallets.

First up is Super Marché from design guru herself Victoria of SFGIRLBYBAY fame. Victoria had the genius idea of heading to France to hunt for the perfect one-of-a-kind pieces and bringing them back to put into her Super Marché. Shopping in France? Doesn’t really get any better. But since I can’t jet off to scour french flea markets anytime soon, I’m happy to let Victoria do it for me. Especially since her eye is this good. From furniture to pretty finishing pieces like vases, bags and art, I can only hope Victoria plans to travel a lot cuz she’s going to need to restock quickly!

If you live in Boise, consider yourself insanely lucky. Kirsten Grove of Simply Grove has just flung open the doors to her very own bricks and mortar store – The Simply Grove Shop. It’s a microcosm of Kirsten’s genius design brain – and she’s thought of everything. Accessories, pieces for your kitchen, bedroom and bath along with major items like sofas, beds and art. I’m counting down the days until I can get myself to Boise, but thankfully Kirsten has given us an online shop to tide us over! Only problem? I kinda want everything!

These shops might still be slightly under the radar but don’t wait long, the word is out and pieces are going to go very very fast.

images c/o sfgirlbybay & simply grove

Real Talk, Real Moms: On Technology

Business of blogging

It’s been a bit since I’ve tackled a mom topic, but this go round the mamas are discussing kids and technology and I couldn’t miss my chance to chime in. Being in this blogging business obviously connects me to technology damn near 24/7. And after a decade of surfing those interwebs, seeing the tech shrink from my desk to the thing that I practically sleep with under my pillow, I definitely have a lot of conflicting emotions about what tech has brought to our lives.

So I’m going to be the square here and state right up front: I am firmly against introducing technology to young kids.

Harsh, yes, I know. Now, I don’t consider myself a hippie mom or a protect-my-kid-from-any-and- all-evils mom, but the evidence is just in your face that technology screws with our brains – but particularly the brains of children. It stunts their ability to form empathy. It rewires their ability to focus. Technology been shown to increase depression, insomnia and narcissism. It’s addictive. There is article after article after terrifying article about tech’s detrimental effects. I’m sure you’ve read most of them. If not, click on ones like this. Then there’s the anecdotal fact that I just quit social media cold turkey while on vacation last week and could literally pinpoint the dip in my mood when I started scrolling through Instagram again and saw what I’ve “missed.” But that’s likely a blog post for another time.

While I’ve got my own problems to deal with, I’ve done my best to limit technology from invading my son’s world. Granted he’s only 2.5 and still lives in our little bubble. But we’ve yet to introduce TV, there have been no iPad games, and while I have succumbed to using FaceTime and flipping through photos on the phone, I never feel great about it (and in fact, I’ve noticed my son only wants the phone more if we look at pictures too much. Time to actually print those photo books I’ve been meaning to make!). And I’ve survived! In fact, it hasn’t really been that hard. I thought for sure I’d need tech to rescue you me from some parental disaster or another, but I’ve yet to feel the need. Of course, I’m excited for the days when he can watch Sesame Street, and I wonder what his first movie will be (mine was Sleeping Beauty in the theater btw), but that’s mostly about reliving my own childhood than enriching his. He’d rather just play basketball, or trucks or sing a song. And I’m probably just lusting after the 20-minute break.

Does this mean we’ve had to leave a nice dinner when there was a meltdown? Yes. Does this mean that my six hour flights to and from a Hawaii were a bit more torturous? Yes. Do I miss watching sports on the weekends because we always keep the TV off? Sure. But limiting my son’s exposure to technology has also dramatically increased my awareness of technology’s invasion into my day. I recognize my own weaknesses and think about how lucky I was to not have to fight against them as a kid. I grew up with six TV channels and didn’t get a video game until I was 13. And yet I always wanted to sneak in more than my 30 minutes of allotted TV time.

Of course, I don’t miss the irony that I’m delivering this opinion via technology nor the fact that you’re probably reading it on your phone right now. But I also don’t miss the fact that my son notices every single time I pick up my phone. So now when he gets up from his nap, I keep my phone in a different room. I’ve turned off all notifications. I keep my laptop in my office rather than on my couch. If he doesn’t see my world revolving around tech, it won’t occur to him for his world to do the same.

So I’m going to keep trucking with this zero technology thing for as long as I can. I know as my son gets bigger and makes friends he’ll probably get exposed to TV. I know that there are some benefits to digital learning games and maybe at some point we’ll try them. I know kids will have to be fully fluent in technology to survive in today’s world, but developing that fluency is inevitable. I know I’m probably getting ahead of myself, but I read about this pledge: wait until 8th. It’s the idea that kids should not spend any significant time on smart phones until they are 14 years old. I’m into it.

Of course, I realize parents have to make their own choices about all of this and I certainly don’t judge. You’ve got to do what feels right for you. But the last decade has changed our own use of technology so dramatically, we’ve barely even had time to realize what it’s done to our relationships, our communications skills – our own health – let alone the long term effects it might have on tiny brains.

But I’m curious? What boundaries do you use with technology? How do you mamas with older kids deal? I would love to hear your thoughts. And be sure to check out the other posts from these mamas!

Ave Styles || The Life Styled || Design for Mankind || Natalie Borton || The Effortless Chic

For the entire Real Talk, Real Moms archive, CLICK HERE

image via my domaine

Weekend Links 9.1

Business of blogging

Holy f***, it’s September. Summer’s over, the world is flooding, our president is a global embarrassment and I still have no idea what I’m packing for Kauai next week. Quite the spectrum of dilemmas, I know. But it is Friday, it is a long weekend and it’s supposed to be the same temp in San Francisco today as Miami. So there’s that.

With my wide swing of emotions and thoughts in mind, here’s a wide swing of weekend links to keep you busy for the next three days.

This NPR article gives the best advice about the most effective ways to donate to Harvey relief.

Houston based Sugar & Cloth is doing an awesome adopt a family program where you can give directly to someone in need. Pretty stunning display of human kindness. Sign up right here.

This post by Jen about how to be awesome is awesome. Perfect September inspiration.

Since it’s balls hot in SF (finally!) I’m going to be drinking this all weekend. I will be adding rum mind you.

I’ll also be eating these amazingly good burgers.

Victoria is launching a shop and I Can.Not.Wait!

And did you know September is a great time to travel? My girl Cassandra is breakin’ down everything you’d ever want to know about taking a cruise right here.

I could also easily spend all weekend in bed, especially if it was this one.

My favorite shoe brand is having an end of season sale. Consider yourself warned.

So is one of my favorite sources for my house.

And I’ve missed my Friday Follows for a couple of weeks but I’ve spending a lot of time on the Instagrams this week. You’d be quite wise to follow the following

@hejdoll for a beautifully curated feed

@well__received for serious home envy

@ivansocal for all the things you want to eat

Cheers dears!

Weekend Links 8.25

Business of blogging

How is everyone holding up these days? The end of August is usually a lazy, hazy time when everyone is soaking up the last of the summer sun and hardly paying attention to anything. Instead, we’re left trying to figure out wtf is going on right now. It’s a little hard to wrap your head around it all. And while I certainly don’t claim to have any answers, one thing is clear – these issues cannot be ignored. From the national dialogue, to crazy behavior in your own backyard, our world is not in its right mind right now. This week I had one friend get followed home by not one, but two men shouting horrible, angry things to the point she had to call 911. Another friend was punched in the face during a traffic altercation. The world just feels really really angry. This reality cannot be brushed off. We cannot expect it to simply go away. We can’t say “oh, it’s happening on that other block over there, in that other state, on the other side of the country.” Nope, it’s all around us, everyday – often hidden in plain sight.

If you’re not outraged, you’re not paying attention.

What to do about it is a personal decision. Write a letter, call a senator, make a donation, show up at a protest, don’t how up at protest, eat sheetcake – but we can’t bury our heads in the sand – that’s for certain.

While the gesture of this post is extremely minimal, I just couldn’t keep sharing pretty things with you while ignoring the ugly that’s trying to grip our nation. So I guess all I wanted to express to you today is that I am paying attention. And I hope you are too. And you’re not alone – be it in your worry, your own anger or your desire to do something. With solidarity, we can overcome. Here are my favorite weekend links that made me think a bit more. I thought you might like them too.

~ I really appreciate Victoria’s post on this subject.

~ That friend who got punched? She’s rather brilliant and wrote a really insightful piece about her experience here.

~ Maybe we all just need to take a chill pill. These eight things claim to be the secret to happiness.

~ #Sheetcaking. It’s a thing.

~ Instagram making you feel bad about yourself? Yeah, me too. Here’s how to keep social media from getting you down.

~ Maybe we’d all be nicer if we just had more friends in the real world.

~ If you missed the emotional cleansing of the eclipse, this beautiful piece attempts to put the emotion into words. Watching it made me feel amazing at least until the speech in Phoenix happened.

Oh, and I did talk about innocuous, pretty things this week too, here, here and here.

image via here

Weekend Links 8.10

Business of blogging

Does anyone else feel like we’re all riding a roller coaster these days? My weeks are often filled with the highest highs and the lowest lows, depending on what news I’ve read, what Instagram feed I’ve looked at or who’s story I’ve stalked. It’s a constant reminder that the strive for perfection and the constant need to project success actually leads to inertia – depression – anger. It’s a destructive cycle.

But rather than succumb, you have to get things out there – to the best of your ability – knowing that you can always improve the next time. And forget the haters. I firmly believe their negative, destructive energy is why we have the president we do.

As difficult as it might be, if we can work to inject even the smallest amount of positivity into the world each day, we might slowly beat back the morass currently attempting to swallow us whole. So with that in mind, I’ve rounded up whatever made me smile this week to share with you. I hope it brings some positivity to your day!

I rounded up healthy ice cream recipes, while my bestie made an ice cream recipe of her own & it involves bubbly – of course!

My healthy toast obsession holds no bounds. Move over avocado. These recipes are much more interesting.

I leave for Hawaii in one month (thank gawd!), but Athena’s recap of her trip to Franciacorta in Italy still has me wanderlusting big time.

Fogust – aka the month where the sun never shines in San Francisco is upon us, but it definitely makes you crave fall everything. That’s why I love Jen’s fall fashion round up.

This Pinterest feed always makes me smile.

As does this Instagram feed.

And this one.

And this one.

My friend Katie launched a kick-ass conference for entrepreneurial mothers that’s coming to San Francisco September 29. You should get yourself a ticket while you can!

I’m actually taking an impromptu trip to my hometown this weekend (follow on Instagram for all the deets) for a very special occasion and this round-up of new, cool things to do will come in handy.

Happy weekend friends. #youdoyou

image via here

Weekend Links 8.4.17

Business of blogging

Whew. What a week. What a month. What a year! And now it’s August. It’s rather hard to believe how a quickly time is flying. Apologies for being a little MIA this week. I took a long overdue trip to New York – truly one of my favorite places in the world. As you may have seen on Instagram I hosted a wonderful dinner party with some dear friends – and I’m going to get to share all the pretty with you pretty soon so stay tuned for that. But my 72 hours in NYC reminded me I’m not quite the spring chicken I used to be. Those smile lines are looking a little bit deeper after a week of over indulging in everything but sleep. So today’s links of the week are going to have a theme.

I’ve been trying to land the perfect skincare routine ever since giving birth. I’m definitely taking Caitlin’s recommendations.

My hair could us a little help too. Loving Meg’s list of must-haves.

This make-up tutorial on The Moment might help hide a bit of this exhaustion.

I visited the Glossier showroom in NYC – definitely intrigued by their very easy to apply products. This powder might have to get added to my beauty repertoire.

I might try this Turmeric, Ginger Lemon juice that Alicia is swearing by.

I also just might try to sleep more.

And do all the healthy people things.

Or I might shop the Nordstrom sale before it ends Monday.

And check out Jen’s gorgeous new site for inspiration.

Or plan my next big trip.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend friends!

image via here

Follow Friday 7.21

Business of blogging

Has this week felt exceptionally long for anyone else?? Well, at least I have a quiet Friday to get a few things done before unplugging for the weekend. As we sneak closer and closer to August I start feeling summer rushing by too quickly, so I want to make a point to slow down and savor it all. But I’ve been popping around the interwebs this week to make sure you have a few fun things to savor as well.

This home tour on Glitter Guide is California bohemian overload, in a good way.

Alicia put together a great list of chill summer tunes.

I’m totally digging this cute summer top.

Liz is making me want to go camping. Yes, me!

Then Sam has me craving a day at the beach.

And while I’m trying to put my wanderlust on hold, Cassandra’s guide to Stockholm isn’t helping me!

This is hot. And makes me want to go somewhere hot.

The mamas are back this week talking adult time vs family time. While I wasn’t able to write about this one, be sure to check out everyone’s posts! You can start right here.

Oh and the Nordstrom Sale is in full effect today. I’m tracking all my must-buys right here.

And if you’re in San Francisco this weekend,

On Monday, Tartine Manufactory (my love) is hosting a dinner featuring an all-female cast of chefs, purveyors, 20+ female wine & beer makers, bakers and the like. Proceeds from the night’s feast are going to Planned Parenthood. And I’m swooning. If you beg, you might still be able to get a table (I’m begging).

Modern Citizen just opened a lovely new shop on Union Street – I might have to do a little shopping for my upcoming trip to NYC! More on my Insta-story about that right now btw

Flower Piano continues at the Botanical Garden in Golden Gate Park this weekend. It’s seriously just the coolest thing. I cannot wait to go back tomorrow.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

Follow Friday

Business of blogging

Friends, can we have a chat? A little heart to heart? You see, lately I’ve been reflecting a lot about this space and the entire blogging/social media world in general. A two-week road trip will do that to ya. And I find myself perturbed. The world of blogging has changed so much in the nearly 10 years I’ve been at this gig. When this little ole site started it was never intended to be about me. I was 27. What the hell did I know about anything?! It was intended to share discoveries, crowdsource ideas and miraculously turned into quite a vibrant community.

But today the blog world feels solely focused on “the me.” Look at me, I’m the most clever on Instagram stories. Look at me – I travel to the most enviable destinations. Look at me – I build the most fabulous wardrobes, design the most amazing homes, throw the most epic parties. I’m exhausted by it. Are you exhausted? Truth be told, I’m not comfortable with that vibe. Never have been. Sure, I’ve gained a little knowledge over the years and I certainly have many an opinion (do you follow me on Twitter?!) – but there is much more out there than my little slice of the world. And I want to get back to what I loved about blogging in the beginning – curating all of the goodness into a nice, neat little package for you.

That’s why this crazy journey called to me in the first place. Discovery. Creativity. Beauty. All at the click of a mouse and with the unique ability to broadcast it to whoever might be listening. So I’m working on a lot of different ways to weave this perspective back into Apartment 34, but one small gesture is to resurrect my Friday Links (which have had many iterations in the past – like this and this and this).

My list today is nothing fancy – just a list of links – cuz who has the time for crazy fancy graphics anymore. I just want to share bloggers who are kicking ass. Articles that made me think. Pictures that grabbed my attention. Instagrammers whose feeds give me life. It’s because of everything else out there that I’ve stuck around this long. And sharing the love just makes everyone feel better.

With that, here is my Follow Friday roundup for this week!

My bestie is the queen of tabletop design. All hail.

Camille took a dream trip to Italy and created an entire site about it. I’m freakishly jealous and learning to live with the envy.

Apparently, I’m not the only one to share today’s post’s sentiment. Jacquelyn’s list of must-read blogs is quite similar to my own.

One of my favorite writers (and occasional Apt34 contributor) wrote a lovely travel guide to Amsterdam, one of my all-time favorite cities.

Modern gorgeousness on MyDomaine.

I constantly pretend that I’m going to find more time in my world to read. Like a whole book. I keep saying it out loud. I even tried to start a book club once and I was the one who never finished the book. But despite all of that – I’m bookmarking Jen’s summer reading list.

I had an amazing experience in Napa last month and California Weekend captured it masterfully.

Serious backyard goals on Almost Makes Perfect.

If you love color (which you probably don’t because you read this blog, but just in case…) this pool party by Studio DIY is epic. Epic I tell you!

There’s a new generation in town and it makes SO much sense.

I’m going to New York in a few weeks and want to look endlessly stylish. These pants are either a really good or a really terrible idea.

And now for those Instagrammers

Meg Cassidy because goals

Kimberley Hasselbrink cuz I’m always hungry

Ann Street Studio cuz she’s taking Instagram art next level

Happy weekend friends!

image via here

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